Eating Sans Guilt

I know it isn't just me and that many of us have some sort of unhealthy relationship with food- it either came from our family's eating habits, a friend's comment about what we were eating, or another kid in elementary school saying "ewwww are you really going to eat that green gunk?". I know for me, I have had to make a conscious decision to view food differently. I used to live in fear of what I ate- was I eating too much? Worrying about how many calories or carbs I was intaking, there was always some form of guilt present. There are still so many times where I am eating something and I start to think to myself "I really shouldn't be eating this right now, it is going to make me fat". I am starting to see that it is the belief that what you are eating is bad for you, that makes it bad for you. I remember hearing Marianne Williamson say once that until her friend asked her why she wasn't worried about the coffee she was drinking at night keeping her up, the caffeine had zero affect on her. That night, when that fearful thought crept in, it was the first night she couldn't fall asleep because of the coffee. This isn't to say that we should all go around eating crap all the time because every food you eat has its own energy and own characteristics, but eating is something that is meant to be full of pleasure and the guilt does NOT serve us!

Some steps I have been taking to enjoy my food (and this can go for anything in life)
1. I take a moment before i eat to be grateful for the food in front of me, the food that is providing me with nourishment and the energy to go about my day and do the things i love!
2. Choosing the foods that I really want to eat in the moment. Since I am really in touch with how food makes me feel, I usually crave healthy foods such as whole grains, protein from beans, and tons of veggies but there I times that I want to eat something that I used to deem untouchable. My friend asked if I wanted a sip of her vanilla milkshake this afternoon and instead of saying no but really wanting it, I took a sip and enjoyed the sweet flavor that reminded me of childhood.
3. Monitor my thoughts while I am eating. If a fearful thought pops into my head, I will acknowledge this thought, forgive myself for having the thought and then release it. We have thoughts but we are not our thoughts. This means that right now, these old patterns of thought are still in place but it is my decision whether or not to identify with them and i choose loving thoughts.
4. Slow down. This is key to enjoying your food. When I am scarfing down what's on my plate, I can barely recognize that I had even eaten anythign at the end of the meal. Of course this means I am still hungry but it also feels like I just rushed through something that I could have enjoyed and that's no fun. I have noticed that now that I take my time to taste every bite, to chew every morsel of food, to drink water in between bites, I really can taste the food more. I can feel the food moving into my stomach and being metabolized by my beautiful body. I can feel my body working and I feel so satisfied at the end of the meal. I recently was guided to read a book called "The Slow Down Diet" by Marc David and I can't wait to share everything I learn from this book.
5. Enjoy the company I am with. Eating is a very social thing and one of my favorite things to do is to sit down to a nice meal and some vino with my friends. When I notice and take in the love that is around me in the moment, I am full of that love and not looking at food to fill me up.

As you can see, all of this comes back to self-love and this is a big theme for me right now. If you can't love yourself, how can you expect to be happy? how can you expect to love others? how can you expect to really know who you are? I am currently clearing all of this past gunk out so I can really know what it feels like to love myself- all parts of myself. Every day I look in the mirror and tell myself how much I love me. It was really hard to do this in the beginning plus I felt like a freak but each and every day it gets easier and more fun! If you have never done this, try it out. If it is too much to say this out loud you can think it or even start with saying that you are willing to love yourself.

Have any of you ever experienced this guilt? What have you done to get out of this fearful state of mind? I would love to know!

Hope you had a fab weekend!
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