I am a Discoverer, Hear Me Roar

You don't have to make a decision just to make a decision.

That's right, it is okay NOT to decide.

Today I woke up and told myself I needed clarity to decide where to go with my career. I enrolled at IIN to become certified as a holistic health coach which I am thrilled about. This doesn't begin until January and at this moment I have total freedom to decide what I want to do before I get started in my career as a health coach. I am currently freelancing with my graphic design skills but I keep feeling the need to decide where I should go from here- I could take a full-time job, a part time job and freelance at the same time or I could decide freelancing is the way to go and I don't need anything else. I have been grappling with this indecision all year- which way is the right way? After some meditation and talking this out with one of my mentors, I came to the profound realization that I really don't need to decide right now and it's in my impatience and not accepting what is that I feel like I need to. I am not saying I am going to sit here on my butt and not do anything. However, I want to take aligned action and for a reason that is unbeknownst to me, this is where I am at today. I am coming to peace with the fact that the timing wasn't right or maybe the timing was right but my limited self cannot see it right now.

MAN this is not easy to remember when I fall back into the place of comparing myself to others. However, in realizing that I don't need to decide my career path right now, I see that I want and need to discover my path. This is a subtle difference in words but it changes everything!

Making a decision implies some idea of permanence. In Reality, I know that when I make a decision, I can change my mind the second after and that is okay.. But the belief that I have been holding onto is that once I make a decision, I am stuck with it. I define myself by the decisions I make. But when I reframe my life in terms of discovering myself and discovering what I love versus deciding on something before I know if I like it, I am free to discover anything and everything I want. Watch out Christopher Columbus, Ali Leipzig may discover something even bigger than the Americas ;) . But really, no wonder so many of us don't know what we want to do with our lives. You can't know before you try it out!! We have so many options available to us that at times it is overwhelming. We live in the day and age of freedom yet we are chained to our own limiting beliefs that hold us back from testing the waters. We are stuck in the place that tells us to make the right decision or the place that tells us we should know everything right now.

Let's stop deciding and start discovering!

Dare to Begin

On my run on the East River yesterday, I saw this quote written in chalk on the ground. I stopped, took in it's meaning, and contemplated what it meant in my life and it struck a chord. All year I have been trying to push and shove my way into something that I don't have a true passion for. I knew in the back of my mind the direction I wanted to go in and that is to teach others everything I have been learning about my emotions and thoughts and how they correlate to my body's health and functioning.

I had heard of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition from my good friend Lee, who's sister attended. I took a look at the website about a year ago and deep down knew that this is what I needed to do. I didn't know why, I didn't know how, but I knew it was where I was supposed to be. Over the past year, I have had so many run-ins that have confirmed this for me- meeting many people who rave about the program, being inspired by hearing professionals speak about the topics near and dear to my heart, prophetic statements from those I admire.

What was holding me back?
-"Practicality". I have a skill as a graphic designer. I am good at it, I have a natural eye for it. But you know what I realized? I only love it when I am designing for companies that are spreading the messages I believe in- messages of total health.
-Feelings of unworthiness. I am struggling with my own weight and health issues, why should I go to school to be trained to help others? Silly, silly. This is exactly WHY I should learn more so that I can help others overcome the struggles that I have gone through.
-Fear of the unknown. Where will this take me? Is it a waste of money? Will I be successful?

I am daring to begin. I am enrolling at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and I am taking a step towards the life I want to live (A HUGE thank you to my parents who are so supportive of this). I will be learning so much and I can't wait to share it with all of you!

I dare you to take one step in the direction of your dreams. And always remember this: baby steps are steps too. Remember to be proud of yourself for any step you take towards your happiness.

Also, as many of you know, Gabrielle Bernstein has been a huge inspiration in my life. She is a constant reminder for me to choose love over fear and has helped me see the abundance and love that is in my life in this present moment. For the first time ever she is doing worldwide coaching via ustream/phone!!! So so exciting, you really don't want to miss this. So if you are interested, sign up and feel the love! SIGN UP HERE

You Have A Choice

You choose the world you inhabit. That's right, YOU choose. You can choose to see your world with love or you can choose to see the world through the limited lens of fear. It is always your choice and always will be your choice.

I have come to realize that I was playing the role of victim. As a child I didn't have the tools to recognize this role I was playing over and over again but even so, in those moments, I was choosing to view my life with fear. It currently plays out in different areas of my life but it's all the same thing. The voice that wants to convince me that I am a victim of my own life will say: I didn't get the job I thought I deserved, sucks for me. I have to deal with these health issues, why am I the only one? It is time that I took responsibility for my thoughts and my actions. One of my mentors, Sonya Boesse, explained that we are swimming in an ocean of currents. You can't control the ocean around you but you can control your own wave, the thoughts you put out there. I know that my wave has been polluted and it is time to clean it up. There is no need to beat myself up about this either! All it takes is a commitment to pure and loving thoughts on a moment by moment basis. I have a lifetime of "work" to do but I have seen many miracles from recognizing that I am not my thoughts.

Your thoughts create your reality, so what do you want your reality to look like?

On a more humorous note...remember this song?!? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE- Ace of Base. It just came up on my itunes and I had to share...Ace of Base was my first cd!

Butternut Squash Deelish-ish-ness

Now that I am getting more in tune with my body, I am listening to the messages it is providing me with and I am listening! I am craving food that is in season and foods that warm me up now that it is getting colder. RIGHT ON!

Today I had an amazing butternut squash soup from Ella Cafe in Williamsburg. If you are ever in Williamsburg, you have to stop by this cafe. The wood interior makes for a rustic, homey atmosphere and the mostly organic menu has a great selection of food for meat lovers and veggies a like. That really just sounded like a review for the cafe but I promise you they didn't hire me to say that! Bottom line: check it out.



Butternut squash and pumpkins as well as orange root vegetables like sweet potatoes and carrots are loaded with beta-carotene, which is a powerful antioxidant. You may know that beta-carotene is the protector of vision, but it is also thought to protect against breast cancer and repair damaged skin as well, slowing the signs of aging. And to top off these benefits, they are downright tasty.

Enjoy your orange root vegetables! <3

Let Go

I am declaring here and now that I am letting go. I let go of all the plans and the ideas that I held about how my life should turn out. Why? Because I have realized in the past few months that we have way less control over the events of our life than we think. And man, the surprises that have come my way are way better than what I thought I had wanted in my limited mind. I believe there is a plan for me, one greater than I can even imagine, and I know that if I keep pushing and screaming for what I think I want or need, I will prevent this greatness from entering my life.

Whether or not you believe in a power greater than you, I think we can all agree that things are supposed to be easy. Life is supposed to flow and when it isn't, it gives us a chance to look at what is preventing that flow.

I let go. I float down the river of life. I lie back, looking up at the clouds. I feel the universe supporting me and carrying me towards someplace I know deep down exists but temporarily am unable to see. I flow towards Love. Each fish, rock, or patch of white water I come across propels me further towards the greatness that is my Highest Self. I take in my surroundings. I smell the trees, I feel the air on my body, I watch the birds fly by. I am grateful for the bends in the river for they keep me on my toes. I am grateful for the splits in the river because I know that whichever way I choose to travel, I am heading Home. I am protected, I am safe, I am at peace. I flow with ease and I ask you to join my hand.

love love love,
a