Give Yourself The Space to Feel

Originally posted on Bella Life

“Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface.” Marianne Williamson

Marianne said it right. When we want to heal, when we make love a priority in our lives, some of our deepest wounds come to the surface because we really gotta feel it to heal it.

Many of us have had dark experiences, so dark that we don’t even want to look at the pain that comes along with them. It’s only natural to block these experiences out of our minds, it is our defense mechanism. These experiences are often an extreme shock to our system because they are so against what we know to be true in our hearts which is that there is only love. You could have been scolded for getting bad grades, your house could have broken into, or you may have been sexually or verbally abused. Whatever it is, we currently live in a world run by fear and unfortunately, these things do happen. All of these experiences are opportunities for growth if we view them as such but there is no denying that pain we all experience.

I went through a traumatic experience last year- it shook me to my core and was one of the most difficult things I have had to go through to date. I thought that I had felt everything I needed to feel surrounding the experience but I recently woke up to the fact that I have been bringing this experience from the past into the present moment. I was ready to face the pain and fear that was harboring inside of me so I reached out to my coach about what was going on and within minutes of opening up about it, i started bawling. I was releasing emotions/feelings that had been bottled inside for a year. It felt uncomfortable but at the same time so freeing. She gently reminded me to create the space for myself to feel and I then saw how I just needed to be comfortable with being uncomfortable for a little. Feeling this pain wasn’t going to feel good, but it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. I turned off my computer for 2 hours and let it all out. I cancelled my appointments that afternoon and told my friends I needed to have a “me” night. By doing this for myself, I was showing up for myself in a huge way.

How can you give yourself the space to feel what needs to come up?

Start talking about it. With your friends, family, therapist or coach. If this sounds scary to you, reach out when you are ready. It could be as small as telling someone that you are afraid to talk but that there is something on your mind. That in itself is huge. Some people go through their whole lives without facing their dark corners. Pat yourself on the back for wanting to face this part of yourself, you are braver than you think you are.

Give yourself the space to feel, to cry, to yell and to scream. Turn off the computer and put away your phone. Sit with yourself and if you feel moved to, do some free writing. Also, give yourself time to sit with the feelings. It is important to not push them back down in the ways you usually do, possibly through focusing on work, eating or drinking. If you have a meeting or appointment that you aren’t up for, don’t force yourself to go if you have the option of changing it. Create the time and space for you to be with yourself.

Take it slowly. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Because we live in a society where we have everything at our fingertips instantaneously, we have the tendency to apply our need for instant gratification to our search for inner peace. For most of us, healing is a slow process and it is important be easy on ourselves. Remember, it all doesn’t have to happen at once.

Show yourself some extra lovin’. The act of allowing yourself to feel is so loving in itself but it always helps to show your body and mind that you are there caring for her. Take a bath, put on some luxurious lotion, light some candles, put on some nice underwear or make yourself a delicious, healthy meal. All of these actions will remind you how you are safe and loved.

In your own time, create the space you need to feel all you need to feel in whichever way works best for you. It’s worth it!

The Universe is My Safety Net

No job will keep me safe.
No amount of food will keep me safe.
No man will keep me safe.
No drug will keep me safe.

Why not?

Because the Universe and I, we're tight. And I know that my unwavering faith in this supportive energy is what ultimately will bring me back to knowing that I am safe as I am, in this moment, always. The Universe is my Safety Net.

Starting my graphic design business is one of the biggest challenges I have ever undertook. It requires faith and perseverance. It requires getting rid of self-doubt and replacing it with self-worth. It requires learning about taxes, financial planning, marketing, networking, as well as other unexpected technical skills that I learn as I go. I took on a babysitting job a few hours a week in order to feel safe with my finances. It was working for a while, until it wasn't. And when it wasn't, the Universe kept knocking me over the head until I got the message that I was done there.

I was using this babysitting job as my safety net. I thought it was helping me financially, which it was but it allowed me to keep my business growth at a stalemate as I didn't have as much time to focus on it. My internal guide kept speaking louder, telling me to trust that the Universe knows what it is doing, just allow it to help you out! Isn't that awesome?! All we have to do is allow this supportive energy to help us. It's that simple.

As I look at other areas of my life such as my struggle with impulsive eating, I can see that I have used food as my safety net. When I was uncomfortable, when I didn't want to face the truth of what was happening in my life or how I was feeling, I looked to food for comfort, love and safety. And again, I am learning that this false sense of safety does not serve me or those around me. Because I will never feel fulfilled or safe from eating pretzels or chocolate when things get uncomfortable. I am trusting the Universal Safety Net in this area of my life as well, knowing that the feelings and emotions I am attempting to numb with food are my teachers, guiding me to LIVE. Period.

If we are eating, doing, sleeping, drinking, working out or meditating OVER our feelings, we are forgetting that we have a safety net surrounding us at all times.

Trust.

Let yourself fall gracefully into the oh-so-soft, awesomely warm, ever loving Universal Safety Net.