LYL: Love Your Life

My 23rd year was nothing short of incredible and I want to share with you all some insider knowledge on what made it so amazing and how I made it my most rockin' year yet.

From the outside looking in, one could look at my past year and say that I had terrible luck and that I had a really shitty year because of various situations with my career and finances. One would say that I failed at finding a job that I thought I wanted, that I was a failure because I was living at home with my parents and not making it on my own. Actually, you know what's really freakin cool? I am so used to being in a state of miracle-mindedness, because I have chosen to only perceive love, that trying to think of this past year as something other than miraculous to write that sentence was difficult for me. It wasn't easy to think of reasons why someone would say my year was terrible. However, I can assure you that 12 months ago, I had a long list of reasons why my life wasn't good enough. But I have come to believe that everything truly does happen for a reason. Every perceived obstacle is an opportunity for personal growth and oftentimes an opportunity to let go of old beliefs and open up to new possibilities beyond what our small minds have conceived for us. Of course, growing pains will be experienced along the way, and I can assure you of that, but when we come out of those perceived low points, what is left is a purer form of yourself. It's almost like you shed a layer of yourself and are closer to your true form.

For me, I graduated school and thought that everything would fall into place. I would find a job, even if it wasn't my ideal job and I would have a great apartment with friends that I loved. However, this didn't happen and I was left to do the only thing I could think of: take a look inward and figure out how to be happy and what direction to move in. I was recently talking to my aunt and she made note that I came upon this journey because it was what I was looking for. I have always been yearning to know myself at the deepest level possible, to know my true desires, to break through the barriers I had created that prevented me from truly connecting with the world. I have come closer to knowing my true self than I ever have before. And who I am today will be different from who I am tomorrow or in a few months. Which is why this thing called life is so damn awesome!!

Here is a reflection of this past year for me.
-I began my journey to remove all the walls that I built around myself
-I placed connecting to my inner guidance my number one priority
-I started out by reading some books and meditating every once in a while and I go deeper with my spiritual practice every day
-I read "Add More ~Ing To Your Life" by Gabrielle Bernstein and became part of the amazing herfuture.com community online and in NYC
-I began a daily meditation practice
-I have transformed close relationships through forgiveness
-I have provided support, coaching, and inspiration for many of my friends
-I lost 40 pounds
-I went off all of my medications
-I began exercising and feeling damn good because of it
-I became more comfortable in my body (even now that I have gained some weight back, not just because I lost weight)
-I worked at a social media marketing agency
-I created the logo designs for Sacred Space NYC, Best You Forever, Wine For Women
-I did design work for countless other inspiring businesses
-I kept an open mind and was guided to incredibly inspiring friends, mentors, communities, healing modalities
-I have read probably about 30 books
-I have a bookshelf full of even more books to read
-I went on my first date
-I bulldozed the barriers that prevented me from admitting my true desires to do something health-related for my career
-I enrolled in the school that I had been wanting to for a year (Institute of Integrated Nutrition)
-I am working with a health coach that I admire and am helping her with her business
-I am part of an amazing group of women that inspires me daily
-I am group coaching with Gabrielle Bernstein
-I am starting my own graphic design business
-I am doing things that scare me every day, getting outside of my comfort zone
-I moved into NYC and have my own apartment (with an amazing roommate, I might add)
-I ran 3 miles at once!!
-I tried hot yoga for the first time and LOVE it
-I started going to IntenSati classes
-I started this blog
-I am a featured contributor for www.yourbellalife.com
-I love myself
-I live a life full of gratitude, love and smiles
-I allow myself to feel everything that is coming up for me instead of being ashamed when I am not feeling happy

Now how can you feel this awesome about your own life?
My Top 5 Tips To Love Your Life
1. Make a Gratitude List or a Love List. Write down everything you are grateful for in your life as often as you can. Sometimes you may not want to do this so find a friend who will rattle off what they love to you and someone you can do the same. My friend Micki and I had the best bbm convo EVER when we spent an hour sending each other bbms such as: hot chocolate, the ocean, dolphins, kisses, massages, running in the rain, snowball fights, people watching, the color lime green. Whatever it is, call on what makes you happy.
2. View all of the obstacles you encounter as opportunities. There is always something to learn from any perceived challenge. Later on, you will most likely be able to see why these challenges came up for you and what you learned from them. Maximum growth will occur when you remind yourself that you can learn from the obstacle.
3. Make it your number one priority to listen to your intuition. Choose from the heart. Your intuition knows best and when you listen to this voice inside of you, you will experience fulfillment and happiness in each moment.
4. Get Moving! Physical activity makes you feel good. No ifs ands or buts.
5. Choose to believe that everything in your life is working out for your highest good. Why would it be any other way?

Dare to Begin

On my run on the East River yesterday, I saw this quote written in chalk on the ground. I stopped, took in it's meaning, and contemplated what it meant in my life and it struck a chord. All year I have been trying to push and shove my way into something that I don't have a true passion for. I knew in the back of my mind the direction I wanted to go in and that is to teach others everything I have been learning about my emotions and thoughts and how they correlate to my body's health and functioning.

I had heard of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition from my good friend Lee, who's sister attended. I took a look at the website about a year ago and deep down knew that this is what I needed to do. I didn't know why, I didn't know how, but I knew it was where I was supposed to be. Over the past year, I have had so many run-ins that have confirmed this for me- meeting many people who rave about the program, being inspired by hearing professionals speak about the topics near and dear to my heart, prophetic statements from those I admire.

What was holding me back?
-"Practicality". I have a skill as a graphic designer. I am good at it, I have a natural eye for it. But you know what I realized? I only love it when I am designing for companies that are spreading the messages I believe in- messages of total health.
-Feelings of unworthiness. I am struggling with my own weight and health issues, why should I go to school to be trained to help others? Silly, silly. This is exactly WHY I should learn more so that I can help others overcome the struggles that I have gone through.
-Fear of the unknown. Where will this take me? Is it a waste of money? Will I be successful?

I am daring to begin. I am enrolling at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and I am taking a step towards the life I want to live (A HUGE thank you to my parents who are so supportive of this). I will be learning so much and I can't wait to share it with all of you!

I dare you to take one step in the direction of your dreams. And always remember this: baby steps are steps too. Remember to be proud of yourself for any step you take towards your happiness.

Also, as many of you know, Gabrielle Bernstein has been a huge inspiration in my life. She is a constant reminder for me to choose love over fear and has helped me see the abundance and love that is in my life in this present moment. For the first time ever she is doing worldwide coaching via ustream/phone!!! So so exciting, you really don't want to miss this. So if you are interested, sign up and feel the love! SIGN UP HERE

My Inuition Say What?! Giving You the Lowdown on my Health

I am not going to lie, I am nervous about this whole blogging business and I am not quite sure where to start, so I decided I would start by telling you that. Part of learning to listen to your intuition includes listening even when you think it's saying something crazy. Me? Start a blog? The truth is, there has been this soft voice nudging me to do this for a while now but I never really saw myself as much of a blogger so I delayed it and delayed it. My ego would tell me "WHO would read YOUR blog?" "You aren't interesting enough, are you crazy?!", "You misspelled the word roommate in your wireless password, what makes you think you can write?!". However, I recently received some guidance to consider what this gentle voice is saying and take action, listening to it ALL the time versus only when it makes "logical" sense inside my head. I am opening my heart to the idea that this inner guidance (stick in whatever you want to call it: your Higher Self, the Universe, G*d, Goddess, Source or Spirit) knows what is best for me so I am putting myself out there and sharing my story.

To give you a brief background on my health: I had been overweight my whole life. I always kept my weight under control through my diet and exercise but no matter what I did, it felt as if nothing worked. When I hit puberty, things got a lot worse...I wasn't getting my periods and my weight skyrocketed as my self esteem plummeted. Coming from an athletic, thin family, I didn't understand why I was having these issues even though I was eating the same foods as all of them. After years of confusion, I found a doctor that told me I had PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and was dealing with insulin resistance. Although there was a certain amount of relief with this diagnosis, TONS of fear came up as I was told all of the risks and complications I would have to deal with in my adult life. I was put on a few medications: birth control, metformin/glucophage, and some appetite suppressants. Like many, I tried countless diets and although I would find temporary success, I would gain all of that weight I lost right back after. I believe this was because I wasn't approaching my diet in the healthiest and most sustainable way but also because I didn't feel like I deserved to be thin and happy. With PCOS and any insulin resistance, a low glycemic diet (low in sugar) is recommended. I felt like I had extremely strict guidelines with eating and felt restricted. I wasn't allowed to eat what my friends and family was eating and always had that "why me" attitude about it. Because of this, my relationship to food became one of punishment and reward. I either hated eating or loved it too much. With the stresses of college life, health became #2 on my list of priorities because it still felt like a punishment, something I had to think of but no one else did.

I remember the day, a few days before graduation, I was walking with my roommate (woo i spelled it right!) and we were discussing what we wanted to accomplish after college. Little did I know I was setting my intention for a year full of self-discovery and changes but I said out loud how I wanted to feel TRULY comfortable in my body. I explained how I had this memory when I was a teenager of feeling sexy, of feeling at home in my body, of sliding into a pair of jeans and loving how they fit so snugly around every curve. It was such a fleeting moment and I wanted to feel that again. As I know now, the slightest willingness is all you need. I was guided to my personal trainer and now great friend, Kelly, and she showed me how I could do anything I put my mind to. She also courageously showed me how little I really thought of myself, the lack of faith I had in my abilities and how negative my self talk was. Just like Jillian Michaels on the Biggest Loser, she pushed me to my core and I began to see the infinite potential that was living inside of me. I began to see that I was not that limited self I thought I was. A month into this, my intuition told me to stop taking my medications and do this on my own. I knew in my core that I could do this on my own but it is a scary thing to do when most of society and your family are dependent on western medicine. I am so grateful for everything that western medicine has given us but I personally knew deep down that there was a different, healthier path for myself. I began seeing a holistic chiropractor that provided me with natural supplements to support my diet, got my nervous system working again and used EFT to help release old stored emotions. Through a rigorous exercise routine, cleaning up my diet (researching like crazy day and night), holistic chiropractic work and serious self-reflection, I lost 40 pounds over 8 months!! These 40 pounds not only shed because of my clean diet and commitment to exercise but I was ridding myself of old limiting beliefs and dealing with all of the old emotions that I had been running from my entire life.

I am at an interesting point in my journey right now. I am working on shifting my perceptions and doing the work to open my heart fully to the love that is within and all around me with the support of the herfuture community and my mentor and life coach, Gabrielle Bernstein. I am making huge breakthroughs, I know exactly when/where my ego tries to take me down and I am experiencing moments of the peace and serenity that come from not hooking into the ego's illusions. I was going to say that I am surprised that I have gained a few pounds in the past few months but now that I think about it, I am not surprised at all. I am working through the root cause of my excess weight, the feelings of inadequacy I have always harbored inside of me. Of course the physical symptoms are going to show up!

Also, I have recently been dealing with an allergy to the cold. YES, the cold. I know it sounds crazy but literally I will walk outside and my face and legs and hands will instantly get hives and it is pretty uncomfortable. It also happens when I am working out. My friend, Arielle Fierman of Be Well With Arielle , (check out her amazing ilove me ring by the way! I have one and it makes me so happy) told me to think of this energetically and ask myself what makes me warm? What are things that make me warm from the inside out? Instead of only eating raw foods or foods low on the glycemic diet or foods that someone else tells me are good for me, I am going to use my intuition to figure out what foods make me warm, what foods are right for ME. I may risk getting it wrong, I may gain a few pounds along the way, but it isn't about the weight anymore. It is about feeling warm and loved from the inside out and that is all that really matters.

To sum it up: my intention is to uncover what foods are right for me so that I can be my happiest and healthiest self and along the way make some discoveries about how food affects the mind, body and spirit.

Now that the past is taken care of, let's get on with this journey! Looking forward to posting tomorrow.

Until then,
A