I am a Discoverer, Hear Me Roar

You don't have to make a decision just to make a decision.

That's right, it is okay NOT to decide.

Today I woke up and told myself I needed clarity to decide where to go with my career. I enrolled at IIN to become certified as a holistic health coach which I am thrilled about. This doesn't begin until January and at this moment I have total freedom to decide what I want to do before I get started in my career as a health coach. I am currently freelancing with my graphic design skills but I keep feeling the need to decide where I should go from here- I could take a full-time job, a part time job and freelance at the same time or I could decide freelancing is the way to go and I don't need anything else. I have been grappling with this indecision all year- which way is the right way? After some meditation and talking this out with one of my mentors, I came to the profound realization that I really don't need to decide right now and it's in my impatience and not accepting what is that I feel like I need to. I am not saying I am going to sit here on my butt and not do anything. However, I want to take aligned action and for a reason that is unbeknownst to me, this is where I am at today. I am coming to peace with the fact that the timing wasn't right or maybe the timing was right but my limited self cannot see it right now.

MAN this is not easy to remember when I fall back into the place of comparing myself to others. However, in realizing that I don't need to decide my career path right now, I see that I want and need to discover my path. This is a subtle difference in words but it changes everything!

Making a decision implies some idea of permanence. In Reality, I know that when I make a decision, I can change my mind the second after and that is okay.. But the belief that I have been holding onto is that once I make a decision, I am stuck with it. I define myself by the decisions I make. But when I reframe my life in terms of discovering myself and discovering what I love versus deciding on something before I know if I like it, I am free to discover anything and everything I want. Watch out Christopher Columbus, Ali Leipzig may discover something even bigger than the Americas ;) . But really, no wonder so many of us don't know what we want to do with our lives. You can't know before you try it out!! We have so many options available to us that at times it is overwhelming. We live in the day and age of freedom yet we are chained to our own limiting beliefs that hold us back from testing the waters. We are stuck in the place that tells us to make the right decision or the place that tells us we should know everything right now.

Let's stop deciding and start discovering!

Dare to Begin

On my run on the East River yesterday, I saw this quote written in chalk on the ground. I stopped, took in it's meaning, and contemplated what it meant in my life and it struck a chord. All year I have been trying to push and shove my way into something that I don't have a true passion for. I knew in the back of my mind the direction I wanted to go in and that is to teach others everything I have been learning about my emotions and thoughts and how they correlate to my body's health and functioning.

I had heard of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition from my good friend Lee, who's sister attended. I took a look at the website about a year ago and deep down knew that this is what I needed to do. I didn't know why, I didn't know how, but I knew it was where I was supposed to be. Over the past year, I have had so many run-ins that have confirmed this for me- meeting many people who rave about the program, being inspired by hearing professionals speak about the topics near and dear to my heart, prophetic statements from those I admire.

What was holding me back?
-"Practicality". I have a skill as a graphic designer. I am good at it, I have a natural eye for it. But you know what I realized? I only love it when I am designing for companies that are spreading the messages I believe in- messages of total health.
-Feelings of unworthiness. I am struggling with my own weight and health issues, why should I go to school to be trained to help others? Silly, silly. This is exactly WHY I should learn more so that I can help others overcome the struggles that I have gone through.
-Fear of the unknown. Where will this take me? Is it a waste of money? Will I be successful?

I am daring to begin. I am enrolling at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and I am taking a step towards the life I want to live (A HUGE thank you to my parents who are so supportive of this). I will be learning so much and I can't wait to share it with all of you!

I dare you to take one step in the direction of your dreams. And always remember this: baby steps are steps too. Remember to be proud of yourself for any step you take towards your happiness.

Also, as many of you know, Gabrielle Bernstein has been a huge inspiration in my life. She is a constant reminder for me to choose love over fear and has helped me see the abundance and love that is in my life in this present moment. For the first time ever she is doing worldwide coaching via ustream/phone!!! So so exciting, you really don't want to miss this. So if you are interested, sign up and feel the love! SIGN UP HERE

You Have A Choice

You choose the world you inhabit. That's right, YOU choose. You can choose to see your world with love or you can choose to see the world through the limited lens of fear. It is always your choice and always will be your choice.

I have come to realize that I was playing the role of victim. As a child I didn't have the tools to recognize this role I was playing over and over again but even so, in those moments, I was choosing to view my life with fear. It currently plays out in different areas of my life but it's all the same thing. The voice that wants to convince me that I am a victim of my own life will say: I didn't get the job I thought I deserved, sucks for me. I have to deal with these health issues, why am I the only one? It is time that I took responsibility for my thoughts and my actions. One of my mentors, Sonya Boesse, explained that we are swimming in an ocean of currents. You can't control the ocean around you but you can control your own wave, the thoughts you put out there. I know that my wave has been polluted and it is time to clean it up. There is no need to beat myself up about this either! All it takes is a commitment to pure and loving thoughts on a moment by moment basis. I have a lifetime of "work" to do but I have seen many miracles from recognizing that I am not my thoughts.

Your thoughts create your reality, so what do you want your reality to look like?

On a more humorous note...remember this song?!? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE- Ace of Base. It just came up on my itunes and I had to share...Ace of Base was my first cd!

Butternut Squash Deelish-ish-ness

Now that I am getting more in tune with my body, I am listening to the messages it is providing me with and I am listening! I am craving food that is in season and foods that warm me up now that it is getting colder. RIGHT ON!

Today I had an amazing butternut squash soup from Ella Cafe in Williamsburg. If you are ever in Williamsburg, you have to stop by this cafe. The wood interior makes for a rustic, homey atmosphere and the mostly organic menu has a great selection of food for meat lovers and veggies a like. That really just sounded like a review for the cafe but I promise you they didn't hire me to say that! Bottom line: check it out.



Butternut squash and pumpkins as well as orange root vegetables like sweet potatoes and carrots are loaded with beta-carotene, which is a powerful antioxidant. You may know that beta-carotene is the protector of vision, but it is also thought to protect against breast cancer and repair damaged skin as well, slowing the signs of aging. And to top off these benefits, they are downright tasty.

Enjoy your orange root vegetables! <3

Let Go

I am declaring here and now that I am letting go. I let go of all the plans and the ideas that I held about how my life should turn out. Why? Because I have realized in the past few months that we have way less control over the events of our life than we think. And man, the surprises that have come my way are way better than what I thought I had wanted in my limited mind. I believe there is a plan for me, one greater than I can even imagine, and I know that if I keep pushing and screaming for what I think I want or need, I will prevent this greatness from entering my life.

Whether or not you believe in a power greater than you, I think we can all agree that things are supposed to be easy. Life is supposed to flow and when it isn't, it gives us a chance to look at what is preventing that flow.

I let go. I float down the river of life. I lie back, looking up at the clouds. I feel the universe supporting me and carrying me towards someplace I know deep down exists but temporarily am unable to see. I flow towards Love. Each fish, rock, or patch of white water I come across propels me further towards the greatness that is my Highest Self. I take in my surroundings. I smell the trees, I feel the air on my body, I watch the birds fly by. I am grateful for the bends in the river for they keep me on my toes. I am grateful for the splits in the river because I know that whichever way I choose to travel, I am heading Home. I am protected, I am safe, I am at peace. I flow with ease and I ask you to join my hand.

love love love,
a

Hiding In Your Nest- Part Two

Hello friends. Happy Halloween! What did you all dress up as? I was a butterfly, a sparkly butterfly. Really, I just wanted an excuse to wear this sequin dress of mine that I am obsessed with so I added wings and funky blue glitter eyelashes and made myself into a butterfly. However, I love what the butterfly stands for. The butterfly is the symbol of change, joy and color. It is the symbol of the soul. Butterflies remind us that life is a dance and to not take everything so seriously. Transforming from a caterpillar, a creature that wiggles its way on the ground, to a colorful soul flying free in the air, the butterfly is magical. And this brings us back to hiding in your nest. When you get the courage to go outside of your comfort zone, you begin to grow the wings you need to fly, just like a butterfly



I have found that most people, including me, have at least one area of their life in which things are not flowing- whether it is with their careers, romantic relationships, friends, physical activity, whatever. There was a moment in time in which we took a detour into fear and forgot the magnitude of our greatness. We then carry this limiting belief around everyday, preventing this area in our life to be as magnificent as it could be. This moment could seem so insignificant looking back now but at the time you believed it as your truth. Maybe you gave up dance class after your teacher demoted you from the front row to the back row. Maybe the boy you had a crush on told you that you were ugly. We all have areas in our lives where we limit ourselves and there comes a time when a reevaluation of our beliefs are necessary. You may not be the greatest dancer in the world but you can sure dance up a storm and have a blast while doing it.

The moment when I began to hide was when I was 13. It wasn't anything dramatic but it was a day I remember clearly. I was standing in the dressing room in Nordstrom with my mom, trying on clothes for the new school year. I saw tons of cute items and brought them into the dressing room. One by one, I tried on each item and nothing was working. None of the pants I wanted would button and the shirts didn't fit right. I looked into the mirror with the harsh, cold lighting beaming down and I was disgusted. I looked in the mirror and saw a girl I didn't want to be. This is the moment when I chose fear over love. The fearful voice turned on me and became my own inner bully.

This inner bully loves keeping you inside your comfort zone. The reason why it loves keeping you inside your comfort zone is because once you jump out, once you are thrown out of the nest, you begin to see that what your inner bully is telling you is false. Getting outside of your comfort zone reminds you of your infinite nature, of your limitlessness.

I have challenged myself to do one thing every day that takes me outside of my comfort zone and it has been miraculous!! I am loving life. Each time I "feel the fear and do it anyway", I am exhilarated and I see more and more the infinite potential inside of me. It doesn't have to be big- even as simple as saying hello to a stranger on the street works, just as long as you are doing something outside of your normal everyday actions. Try a new dance class, go to dinner by yourself, go to a lecture you normally wouldn't go to, strike up a conversation with the guy sitting next to you on the subway. And be proud of yourself for trying something new. It isn't always easy but it's always worth it.

I will leave you with this: think about how your inner bully has kept you hiding and if you are up for it, challenge yourself to do ONE thing outside of your comfort zone. See how you feel, you never know what can occur ;)

LOVE YOU ALL <3

PS. Since I am usually not the best at commitments, I am challenging myself to commit to writing in this blog atleast 3 times a week. Just sharing this so it is out there in the universe ;)

PPS. I am now reading "Food Energetics" by Steve Gagne and I can't wait to write about everything I learn from this book.

Hiding In Your Nest- Part One

Where are you hiding? What are the beliefs you hold about yourself that prevent you from living the life you love? What is it that you truly want out of life and what are you doing that is hindering that from coming true?

We are human, we grow, we expand, that's just what we do. In every moment we are growing whether we like it or not! Every second is a different moment in time. It is human nature to cling to the past and hold onto the things we think keep us safe but this prevents us from growing to our full potential and from living in the moment. And we know this moment is all there is, so let's get back to living in the moment by getting out of our nest, our comfort zone.

I used to hide because I knew no other way. Most of the time I was very conscious of the fact that I was hiding but I didn't know a way out. I didn't know how to break through that wall that I had created and most of all I was frustrated that there was a wall to begin with. Where did it come from? Who built it? Why can't I just karate kick it down and voila, happiness! It's funny because I always thought of myself as easy going and happy and I think that's because I really really wanted to be. But I was ignoring all of the feelings harbored deep inside of me that wanted to be released. I was scared to admit that I had these feelings about myself- that would make them too real. So I stuffed these feelings down in my body, not allowing myself to ask for help, not allowing myself to feel sad or angry when I needed to. This is why I had the excess weight. I didn't allow my feelings to flow freely and I stuffed down my emotions, my food, and everything else. It had no where else to go but stick around. I can now pinpoint the moment in time in which I decided I was unworthy of loving myself and being fully present in my body. I will save this story for my next post (oohh la la suspense) but for now, think about the beliefs you hold about yourself that aren't true and try to pinpoint the areas in your life where you may be hiding.

My nest is the [false] belief that I don't have a "beautiful" body and therefore I am unworthy of my desires and unworthy of speaking my truth. This standard of beauty that I based my whole self image on was set by our society and it just an illusion, IT IS NOT REAL. Pheww that feels good. Everyone is beautiful and we are the ones who can choose to see that beauty in everyone and everything. It starts with YOU.